Impatient and Imperfect

It's that time of year...you know, the time where everyone seems to be "coupled up". Everyone, except for me, that is. I'm single, as usual. It is really hard for me, because I watch all of my friends with these long-term and "budding" relationships and get so jealous. I ask myself "Why can't I have that", "What is wrong with me?!", "When will it be my turn?!". This is something I constantly think/worry about. What am I doing wrong? What is it that guys DON'T see in me, but see in my friends? How can I be more likable? This is a viscous game I give into. At the end of the day I feel just awful about myself and am even more discouraged about my future. I realize that I need to stop this, because all I'm doing is hurting myself.

Here's what I do know:
-God has a plan that is WAY greater than any plans I may have for myself
-God doesn't run on MY schedule, I run on HIS
-"The guy" is out there
-No matter how hard I try, I will not find him through all of my searching, God will reveal him to me when I am ready

All of this gives me peace...then my imperfection kicks in and I start to doubt. It's not that I doubt God or his plan, I start to doubt that "just waiting" is the answer. I text boys that I'm not interested just to get attention. I convince myself that I'm not worthy of the "best guys" and settle for whoever shows interest in me. I don't want to end up with "whoever", I want to end up with "the best".

I envy girls, like my best friend, Heidi, who prefer to be single. I wish I could be happy alone, and the truth is I've gotten to the point where I am. Then, there are those nights when my roommates are cuddled up with their boyfriends watching movies or on dates and I feel so lonely and jealous. Of course, I know I should continue to "be patient", and that the right thing to do is to be happy for them, but it is so hard!! I can't help but ask myself, "when is it going to be my turn?". And the cycle of self-destructive thinking begins again...

How do I stop this cycle? How do I calm down and wait it out PATIENTLY? How I do I learn to accept my imperfections? How do I keep my standards high, even if that means being single for longer? How do I cope when it feels like literally everyone around me is in a relationship? I honestly don't know. I wish I did. I know that I will take it one day at a time and realize that being single is by no means the worst thing that could happen. I just need to be myself and relax a little, in time things will happen for me. The best things are worth waiting for, as they say. Here's to hoping it will be worth the wait!